Stuck

So life isn't bad. It's got some road bumps. I'm feeling sadness about my Grandma (she's really sick with cancer and it's bad. She's always in pain and it breaks my heart to watch her suffer). I worry about my Mom who is the primary caretaker for Grandma. I detest and loath my uncle and want him to go to jail and get gang raped. Just once. Mostly for disgusting things he did to me but ultimately for how he's sitting in a million dollar house in Arizona and not here with his dying mother. He's kind of a jackass.

Other than that, I'm learning that I spent 4.5 years with someone who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with and upon learning about my Grandma (someone he loved and spent many holidays and vacations with) has done NOTHING to contact me. Seriously. I'm kind of sickened by the idea that someone I picked out a wedding dress for who told me that we would always be family no matter what bullshit we've had and he loves my family so much could just NOT send an email or even a text message to say he'd heard and he's sorry. Nothing.

So, that's how I feel. Stuck. I feel grateful that I am with someone who would put aside the crap and write SOMETHING if things were bad (and he knew about it). But I'm sad that someone I put such faith into, even AFTER we were no longer together decided I was not "worthy" of even a fucking text message. Lies. All lies, I guess is what I'm left with believing.

Ugh. Sorry for the sad blog. Love you all, always.