Snell

Yup, you read that right. "Snell". Normally I don't read my spam mail. However, when I was ready to mass delete just now, I realized this particular spam was from someone named "Snell". At first glance I thought it was "Smell" which wasn't much better but..."Snell"?

Anyhow, Gmail will list the first line of spam mail and this one was intriguing enough for me to just open the basic document (yes, I know most of them are stupid ads or viruses etc, but I wasn't about to download the document).

Here's what peaked my interest:
"ambiguity The waterproof televisions come with installation instructions"

Wait...huh???

Really? Waterproof televisions? Was this real or some amazing "engrish" (no offense).

So I had to read more. Here's the entire spam email:

ambiguity
The waterproof televisions come with installation instructions, but considering the complexity of the installation, it might be worthwhile to have it done professionally. After the sink comes the kitchen, with lighted shelves, and then a dining room, where the table is cantilevered from a shelf on the wall, above, far right.
He was referring to Blackie, that ubiquitous near-black potato vine, and Margarita, a lime-green one, which stole our hearts a few years ago. So he created light channels that make the floors seem as if they, too, are floating, and graze the walls with light.
And the longer you put this off, the longer you will be trading time for dollars instead of products for dollars.
You have mentioned in one of your previous interviews that it would be more appropriate to call jazz 'world music'. Grawunder of her client, who she said compares it to a sacred cleansing ritual in a fountain. Kulick transformed the recesses into display boxes with glass shelves, to hold orchids, ferns and photographs.

Yes, my dear readers. This is what spam emails have turned into. I, for one, do appreciate the spammers and their continued effort to enhance my penis. I also appreciate how many black market drugs I could buy online. Thanks Spaminators. But, really? Waterproof televisions? Blackie? Margarita? Is this the new wave of the century?

Ah...you tell me, my friends. You tell me.

Flaws

(This is a reprint of my myspace blog. Some people don't do the myspace thing --CB-- :) but I felt it was an important enough one to move to this more, personal, venue. Hell, I probably should've put it here to begin with. Either way...here is my flaw blog in all it's glory).

Seriously, people. It's tough to fuck me over so badly that I refuse to give you a second, third, fourth, hell, twentieth chance. I will reach a saturation point but if you've proven yourself caring and remorseful I'm usually persuaded out of my anger and hurt to forgive and move on.

However.

There are a few people I am forced to continue associating with that, except for the situation (work, school, family) I would have LONG since retired my friendly forgiving heart.

Most of the time, the person is well aware how they have fucked me over. And they are also smart enough to keep the fuck out of my way and not keep expecting my forgiving heart to forgive their stupid asses.

However.

At the moment I am dealing with 3, yes THREE people who just are THAT stupid to think I don't see them for who they are. They actually think that just because I've forgiven them in the past I'm willing to take them back no matter how many of their footprints are on my back.

However.

I don't feel badly about NOT taking them back. This is a first. Hopefully a first of many. I am always saying that if someone apologizes I am always willing to listen. I still believe that.

These three morons have not apologized. Well, at least not like a human being might. Telling a mutual friend that you know you fucked up and should probably apologize and make it up to me is not the same as actually apologizing to ME and telling ME you will try to make it up to me. I'm just saying.

So.

While my forgiving nature is still intact, I'm laughing my way through my dealings with these people. Lord knows I'm not without flaws (forgiving people who probably don't deserve it), but at least I still have my head together. And hell, life would be so boring without morons like these three to laugh at!

Peace and love to you all.

P.S. an amusing anecdote: about 4 hours after I posted this blog on myspace I got a friend request from a certain someone's boyfriend. I have a private profile I thought this to be a VERY odd request - I've met the man ONE TIME and it wasn't all that memorable (in other words he acted like I was pretty much non-existant) - but to be blunt, I absolutely saw it as a "ploy" for him to read this blog that clearly his girlfriend (who is a "friend" of mine on my myspace page) was paranoid enough to tell him about. Hey, all you had to do was cut and paste the damned thing and just send it to him. Here it is. In all it's glory. Go ahead and give him my url, if you can figure out how to do that basic computer skill.

Stuck

So life isn't bad. It's got some road bumps. I'm feeling sadness about my Grandma (she's really sick with cancer and it's bad. She's always in pain and it breaks my heart to watch her suffer). I worry about my Mom who is the primary caretaker for Grandma. I detest and loath my uncle and want him to go to jail and get gang raped. Just once. Mostly for disgusting things he did to me but ultimately for how he's sitting in a million dollar house in Arizona and not here with his dying mother. He's kind of a jackass.

Other than that, I'm learning that I spent 4.5 years with someone who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with and upon learning about my Grandma (someone he loved and spent many holidays and vacations with) has done NOTHING to contact me. Seriously. I'm kind of sickened by the idea that someone I picked out a wedding dress for who told me that we would always be family no matter what bullshit we've had and he loves my family so much could just NOT send an email or even a text message to say he'd heard and he's sorry. Nothing.

So, that's how I feel. Stuck. I feel grateful that I am with someone who would put aside the crap and write SOMETHING if things were bad (and he knew about it). But I'm sad that someone I put such faith into, even AFTER we were no longer together decided I was not "worthy" of even a fucking text message. Lies. All lies, I guess is what I'm left with believing.

Ugh. Sorry for the sad blog. Love you all, always.