Except when people fuck with my friends or family.
So there's this guy...let's call him Dick, short for Dickhead.
He dates my friend, pretty seriously, for a few years. They break up. He moves to the city a year or so later. They both date other people. While it didn't end well, it wasn't out of the ordinary for them to run into each other now and then. Many of their friends were friends, etc, etc.
Time goes by. Facebook and Myspace take over the world. They re-connect after a couple of years from one of those "you may know this person" face-space-my-book things.
Both are single.
He makes a spontaneous gesture to meet up with her but she has plans with me. My band is playing and she is, supportively, watching the show. He shows up anyway. He and I have history. His business partner (and close friend) is my ex-fiance. Their people don't talk to my people. But he shows up anyway, gives me a great big hug and says he never cared about the issues and is happy to see me.
I'm glad we have no bad blood.
He hugs my friend and they fall back into their old routine when things were fun and life was sweet and they were both happy.
He gets a call from the business partner that they are having a meeting. He leaves but promises to return after said meeting. He DOES! My friend and I are saying he seems to have changed. The immature jerk that he was when they parted ways seems to have grown up! Happy days!
They go out after my band plays and have a few drinks and make a few plans to see each other again when he comes back from a trip.
Plans are set for an evening (with the right amount of time for one to believe it IS actually a DATE).
The night before, she texts him to make sure plans are still in full-swing and his reply is:
"I don't know, you gonna put-out?"
Now...that could be a joke. I'm willing to laugh at that one. He's gotta a harsh sense of humor and she's like "one of the guys" so it's not too weird...just a bit off...
Before she can respond he texts: "Actually, the guys want me to go out drinking after their show so I may do that instead."
So: Dick has now broken a date with her to go out drinking with the guys. Hmmm....
But then he texts: "We'll be at [bar in the neighborhood] you're more than welcome to join us"
She thinks, "ok, maybe this is a good thing. He's asking me to come out with the guys so maybe he wants it to seem normal between us. This could be ok."
She asks for directions and then gets this text: "Or you could just skip the bar and come tuck me in"
Now she's suspicious. Does he just want to get laid or does he actually want to hang out with her?
So she (in awesome fashion) writes this: "Are you just looking for a warm, wet, hole to stick it in? Or are you just being flirtatious. Hard to tell through text"
Dick replies: "Warm, wet, and familiar. Don't wanna split hairs here."
She is stunned.
Dick then writes: "Eh, maybe we should meet up some other time. Don't wanna hurt you. Not my goal here."
Yeah.
Guess he didn't grow up after all. Good luck with that. ASSHOLE.
P.S. My friend DID NOT reply and obviously DID NOT go meet him at his home or the bar. However, I will state that if he had come anywhere near her that night she'd have probably pulled out his jugular with her teeth. White. Hot. Rage. But, calmly.
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