Our Town

This is a re-post of my Myspace blog. For those of you who don't do the Myspace thing or follow my little blog in other ways, here it is in all its glory. :)

I was just fortunate enough to score a ticket to one of Chicago's smash hits, Our Town. Yes, Our Town, by Thornton Wilder. Many of you remember having to see a dreadful production, or read it in school or, heavens forbid, be a part of some tragic production.

I, however, have always had a different view of this play. My first introduction to it was when I was 12. I read a scene from it in one of my first scene-study classes. I was fortunate enough to have an amazing teacher who understood what this play was about. She understood what the play was really saying, not what some sad and pathetic director was trying to say. I walked away thinking, "I should read that play". Which I didn't get around to until I was 15.

I went to an arts high school and was introduced to the Spalding Gray movie, Monster in a Box, where herecounts his experience doing Our Town on Broadway. We then watched this version and it was both moving and lovely.

College, well, I watched a bunch of college-kids trying desperately to portray the depth and breadth needed to really fill out these characters, but only a few actually hitting a place of emotional truth.

Then Chicago's own David Cromer decides to direct this award-winning play. With the help of an exquisite cast, he is easily doing exactly what this play calls for. By showing us what we need to hear and setting up our imaginations, we can't help but fall desperately in love with these characters and recognize ourselves in their successes and flaws. Nothing was missed. This is an exceptional show. A beautiful success and, dammit, I'm glad to be alive today.

Bravo, Hypocrites and David Cromer for an amazing depiction of life and what we miss in our mundane every day moments. How fleeting they are.

Thank you for the opportunity to have experienced it.

Peace, and I love you all.

If you believe the good...

I have a wonderful teacher who often muses, "If you believe the good criticism, you have to also believe the bad." I appreciate this because I feel as though, even in its sardonic nature, the wisdom behind it is of creating balance. I often seek balance and then often fuck it up, royally, by not maintaining this balance. I know, I know, it's a baby-step process. BUT, I had a small epiphany about this balance today and I wanted to share!

I've often said that when traumatic things happen in my life it takes me longer to process and then respond than most "normal" people. I have a "cat-like-state-of-readiness" in my ability to deal with a crisis. I can shove away any bad/sad/frustrated feelings and just deal with the task at hand. But, when the crisis is over/averted and we come back to stasis, that's when I usually fall to pieces. My family knows this and my friends know this.

So. Doesn't it seem logical that I would realize that when GOOD things happen to me I would respond in the same way? When I'm given a day off or get cast in a show or feel good about my performance that- until all the fanfare has died down and we've returned to stasis- that's when I begin to feel good again?

Interestingly enough. No. It never did occur to me. Until today. So, Ted, in your infinite wisdom about critics: I believe my response to the good will be in proportion to my response to the bad and happen after the normal person would have responded.

Now that I've learned this interesting fact about myself, I feel like I have the power to change it. I don't always enjoy the fact that I'm somewhat of a freak of nature in a situation and feel tension and sadness far longer than I probably should and then have to hide, said feelings, because if I showed how I felt I'd seem crazy. As a matter of fact, it would be something to aspire to actually feel the feelings I'm feeling when I'm feeling them, express those feelings, and then poof! They're gone! Like fully expressed feelings. No guilt. No worry. Just feel it. Express it. And move on.

A life without guilt.

Yup that's a life to strive towards. (Don't mistake a life without guilt as a life without responsibility and consequences. These are not the same)

Anyhow. That's the love I have to share. Going to spend some time with Sparky and read a book that has nothing to do with school whatsoever! Smiles all around.

Love to you all!