Many of you have asked about how Grandma Florence is doing. She is not well. About a year ago she was diagnosed with lung cancer and has fought the good fight to kill this evil disease. Recently, she began to have trouble with the medication and decided it was better for her to enjoy the end of her life rather than be stuck feeling awful from medication side effects.
Things were going along pretty much the same. She would try and eat but it was never an easy battle and she began to get weaker so she had a hospital bed put in her room at my folks house for ease of sitting up and watching TV.
On Saturday I received a call from my mom that things had changed drastically. I rushed over and the entire family had gathered around her and began telling stories. She looked terrible and seemed very much out of it. Jon Wolter and I slept there, on the floor of the room all night long and in the morning she was able to move her right arm and hand. We waited for the nurse to come in but it was fairly obvious that she had suffered a stroke.
My Dad decided it was too difficult to try and bring in nurses and caretakers at this point and wanted her to get the best care. So, he called the hospice and they brought her to Northwestern Hospital.
This is where she is now.
According to the doctors, this is where she will stay until she dies.
What's fascinating, is she has lasted much longer than any of the doctors predicted.
While she is on a morphine drip and IV fluids, she has no swallow reflex so she is not allowed to drink anything for fear she may aspirate into her lungs.
It seems amazing someone can live in this state for as long as she has at this point.
I love my grandma so much but I want her suffering to stop. She is a feisty lady who cannot even TALK! Her only means of communication are through hand-squeezing and mouthing words. She gets weaker and weaker each day...hell...each hour.
My parents are a mess. My mom and I have the same attitude. We both hope she goes peacefully, with no pain, and soon. My Dad is in denial. He actually thinks we will be taking her home in a few days and she'll live like this for months.
Let me remind you she isn't eating.
She isn't drinking.
She is on a constant morphine drip.
I hope to whatever energy/God/spiritual-what-have-you you believe in you never have to witness what I am dealing with right now. Watching this amazing woman deteriorate into nothing is heartbreaking.
Funny enough, when things get this bad, I usually am able to step up. I tend to do well in a medical crisis. (When I was 20 we almost lost my Dad to an adrenal gland tumor). I've slept at the hospital for the past two nights and I'm exhausted. I'm in good with the nurses but it's been very tough staying there in what they call a "bed-like" cushion. It's not an easy thing.
Tonight I'm home, getting a good night's sleep. My uncle is there tonight and I will probably be there again tomorrow night. We shall see.
If you pray, please add Grandma Florence to your prayers. She's a wonderful woman who lived a full life and treated her kids and grandkids and great-grandkids with love and kindness. She deserves to go peacefully and without pain.
Thank you, dear readers.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
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